Take up space and do so proudly.
One of the things I have come to be comfortable with is being told that I am intimidating. It sounds strange, I know, but allow me to elaborate. There’s two ways to look at intimidation and it also depends on the outlook that someone has.
To me there is intimidation in a more negative connotation, and this can be seen in instances where our space is being disturbed by another. The other side of intimidation is the positive side, the side where your individuality is being seen as a threat, a good threat that is.
Majority of the time when I am considered intimidating is due to my zeal when speaking about things that I am passionate about, or simply the demeanor I may have. When I used to be told this, my immediate reaction used to be shrinking myself to accommodate others. In moments like those, I would somehow become insecure in who I was and perhaps the way I was expressing myself. These tendencies slowly became a habit and in the end, I became more focused on ensuring that others are taking up enough space, but it would come at the cost of my individuality and expressiveness.
My individuality was being traded in for the comfort of people who would not do the same. In some instances, this same accommodating nature led people to misuse and mishandle my kindness. After years of seeing this unfold, I decided to add this to my list of things to unlearn in my life. I had to start unlearning that I am not intimidating, but they are intimidated. I did/do not need to diminish myself for another person. Your individuality is yours and mine is mine, our paths may cross but who we are remains unique to us. So I had to really stand firm in who I am and stand up for myself, and rightfully take up my space.
At the end of the day, you are your first and best advocate. If you allow others to diminish your passions, your talent, your skills, your “it” factor, you will become a spectator of your own life. Take up your space and take it up proudly. Be mindful of the spaces you are in and adjust your presence to fit the scene but never to fit the person, read the room to adjust your shine to the necessary levels. Like Aia Polansky said, “I am not intimidating. You’re intimidated.”
Comentarios