For many this may just be another season because 2020 has been a tasking year for all but all in all, reflection is always necessary when stepping into a new year. This year brought on different challenges we could have never expected and in all these challenges, we were learning about ourselves, the people around us, and the societies we live in. Every year I take the time to look at the top lessons I have taken away and what baggage I want to and need to leave behind. I have slowly learned to stop the “new year, new me” mentally and step into the “new year, better me” mentality, and none of this can happen without the necessary reflection.
2020 has given me three main lessons: cherish the people you have and tell them often, learn that people’s ideas of you are not your responsibility to live up to, and lastly you are doing just fine, just keep focused on your race.
Lesson one, cherish your people and tell them as often as you can. This 2020 took the record for the amount of RIP’s I wrote. 2020 claimed too many souls that at some point I went numb to this pain because of seeing people die. I have always heard life is short, but I truly started seeing this when people I went to school with pass on, both younger and older than me. The time span of our life is one of the biggest unknowns, but I do not want the appreciation and love I have for my people to be part of the unknown. I started picking up the pace on expressing how much I appreciate and love the people who I hold dear to my heart.
Kindness and love are free but are still some of the most precious assets one can possess. Telling someone you appreciate them, love them or care for them leaves an imprint. It is never too early to tell someone you care, so don’t wait for when it is too late. We die once but we live every day, so live every day with a sense of love and appreciation for those that make this journey of life worthwhile.
Lesson two people’s ideas of you are not your responsibility to live up to. Coming from a society that is heavily image oriented, it is quite easy to sink into the trap of trying to live up to people’s ideas of you. I will say I am guilty of falling into this trap but my realization of this came when I felt that I was losing a little of myself and my authenticity. I found that for a long time I did my best to live up to the expectations people had of and for me, and in the course of this I was allowing people to live through me. It is hard to come to such realizations because it means change has to come and often that comes with certain relationships or experiences changing.
Giving into the ideas that people have of you is like building a clone of yourself to fit into a mold. As cliché as this is, why fit in when you were born to stand out? As I keep evolving and stepping into my purpose, I continue to learn how important it is to hold unto who we are because that’s your biggest asset, there is no one else out there who is going to be like you. Start living your life for you. Clear your mental space from the other and create it for yourself. Their perception and idea of you is not and will never be your responsibility to live up to or fix.
Lesson three, you are doing just fine, just keep focused on your race. This lesson came a time when dissatisfaction was the title of a chapter in my book of life. I kept seeing people in my age bracket achieving different things and securing different bags, and I started being dissatisfied with where I was. It wasn’t a form of jealousy but more of me pressuring myself into thinking that my lane was not moving fast enough, then I remembered that it is not race but a marathon. For many in my generation social media has pressured some into thinking that where they are now is not where they need to be, and I am one of those. Comparison is indeed the killer of joy but even more so it will block you from seeing that where you may be planted right now, may be the place in which you blossom like never before. It is hard to break from these mental chasms but once you do the marathon becomes yours for the winning.
As we close out this year, I hope that all of you find peace of mind and heart. Take the time to celebrate all the wins, no matter how big or small. Spend time with your cherished people, and truly enjoy time with your tribe. Lastly, remember to be grateful for all that has been learned, accomplished and overcome; as always GRATITUDE IS A MUST.
Happy New Year folks, wishing each one reading this inner peace of mind, love, light and blessings. See you on the other side.
Love & Light,
Zuba.
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