Common misconception: healing is a journey of learning how to live with trauma, or even unlearning about parts of ourselves that have been shaped by pain. I used to have these exact sentiments when it came to the concept/journey of healing. To a certain extent, this is true. But for me, healing is more than just managing trauma - it’s about learning how to live with joy. After all, when your life has been consumed with trauma, the act of reclaiming joy becomes a radical and essential step forward.
For many of us, living with trauma is second nature. We mask it, we get therapy, we try to outrun it - because we’ve grown accustomed to its presence. Real healing isn’t about continuing to live in the shadow of that trauma; it’s about learning to feel, experience, and ultimately protect the joy that has been buried beneath the weight of our pain.
More often than not, it’s the unhealthy coping mechanisms that prompt the desire to heal. Take, for example, my tendency to isolate when I am going through a low phase. My withdrawal patterns felt safe in the moment, but had a profound impact on my relationships. The only way to break from this cycle is to consciously choose to heal the part of me that isolates. In this sense, it becomes a deliberate act of reclaiming the joy that isolation steals.
I used to be the kind of person who’d look at certain seasons of my life and think, “This is too good. When is the other shoe going to drop?” But, why shouldn’t I deserve moments of pure joy, without the looming fear of what might come next? Healing opens the door to accepting both the lows and the highs. It teaches us that despite the baggage we carry, we are worthy of joy.
So, I say this to say what:
Reclaiming your joy is an active and intentional process of healing - but it is a choice you have to make for you.
Our journeys are unique and the less you expect from the process, the more beautiful the outcomes - to be honest, the less you expect, the less you get disappointed.
Lastly, I wish you JOY - not just fleeting moments of happiness, but a deep, sustained joy that becomes a foundational part of who you are.
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