You will never find your self-worth if it is contingent on external factors. Read that again.
Value. It is something that we think about in our everyday lives because that’s how we often gauge the worthiness of something. So, how would you respond to someone asking you what makes you worthy or valued? Better yet, what do you use to measure your worth?
Self-worth comes down to how you value yourself, and essentially the standard to which you live and operate by.
Unfortunately, we often measure our self-worth according to external factors like social status, educational background, job positions, monetary assets and more - but measuring your worth according to these, is like measuring your height with a random stick.
When you decide to use outside influences to measure your worth, you’ll always be on an emotional rollercoaster. For example, if I decide to say my worth increases because I am able to attain a job promotion - what happens when I am fired? Your position’s worth may change but you as human, does your value depend on that job?
We are often quick to see how our self-worth affects us, but seldom look at what we are using to measure said worth. The best way to measure your worth is to look at what you can control, and this in turn trains your mind to focus on what you can control rather than what you cannot control. With this comes immense peace of mind because you realize that despite the turmoil, you are firm in who you are and inherently your value.
I recently found myself in the middle of a Twitter battle, after posting screenshots of an unprofessional business interaction. The majority of those who took to attacking me based it on ego, pride, status and even my family background; for many it was one of those moments of saying, “Who does she think she is?”
The truth is, I know who I am and my value, hence I do not drop the standard for anyone.
So I say this to say what:
Your value is determined by you and you alone. Do not compromise that by allowing outside influences to become your measuring stick. Remember, your value doesn’t decrease because of one’s inability to see yours.
Don’t settle for what temporarily boosts your self-esteem, but rather align with who you are at the core, and the life you are working towards.
Their perception of you is a reflection of them, but your response to them is your awareness of self. When you are firm in your self-worth, your response is rooted in your value and not the effect of their actions or words.
To close it with a banger, as H.E Paul Kagame said, “Agaciro ni wowe ukiha.” (Translation: YOU determine your worth/value.”)
Love & Light,
Zuba
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