The L Word... and I don’t mean Love, I mean legacy.
One of my biggest pet peeves is people who constantly throw names around for show. There is something that immediately rubs me the wrong way when someone is quick to spout who they know, who they are connected to, who their parents are, and the list goes on. When I think of people like this, I think of the “pick me” culture, where people are constantly on this journey of finding approval in the networks they are in and who they rub shoulders with.
Please do not confuse this with the pride that may come from having that name, but the culture I write about in this piece is mainly revolving around people who are essentially status chasers and those who use these name privileges to bypass certain situations that your average person encounters.
One of the best pieces of advice I have gotten and I have held unto is that who you know gets you in the door, but who you are gets you a seat at the table. This challenged a lot of the views I had in terms of networking and how I was essentially building my legacy. Legacy does not begin when you die, but every time you leave a place, a job, an environment, an experience, and the list goes on. With this advice in mind, I started to be more intentional with how I used my connections and moreover how they were having an impact on me and the impact/legacy I was leaving with people.
Coming from a small country like Rwanda, it is inevitable to be intertwined with a lot of people. However this also creates a more challenging environment in terms of the awareness people have towards their legacy. There have been many instances where I have seen people throw out phrases like, “Do you know who I am?,” or “Do you know who my parents are?”. Every time I hear these, I will be blunt and say a wave of embarrassment came over me for that person. How can someone know who YOU are, if the only wave you have been riding is who you know? It doesn’t make sense, does it?
When I think of linking myself to someone, it is because it may put me in a better position than I am in, it may open a door for me, or it may be a worthwhile relationship that is like an investment in me. However, if I am just linking myself for the sake of being “high ranking” or be seen as some form of “upper class”, what is truly gained from just rubbing shoulders with no intention for impact? There is no gain! Time is a precious commodity and so are our connections, we become intertwined with people because we are able to gain from them, they can gain from us.
Your network is your net worth. So as you read this think about how you are using your net worth, are you just standing in the room or are you being given a seat at the table?
Love & Light,
Zuba
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