Check yourself! Literally, take a moment to hold the mirror to yourself and check yourself. A wise woman, the wise woman being my mother, once told me “Before you point a finger, know that there are three pointing back at you.” At the moment it was an attack but the more I look back, I realize that my mother was trying to teach me a crucial lesson on self-accountability. Naturally, it’s easier to point the finger and hold the mirror up to another so as to run from looking at our own reflection. Granted there are times that the blame may be warranted but even in those instances, there needs to be a moment of self-evaluation.
Over the course of this year, I have been working towards being intentional about many areas in my life but also being cognizant of the role I play in a lot of situations. Intentionality when it comes to your self-perception and accountability is hard, though the results are splendid and amazing to bask in, the road there is tough. I have had to pull back from certain situations and people, I had to re-align many of my boundaries, while also remembering to keep sufficient room for growth, while somehow also finding a balance so as to not be too hard on myself.
There have been moments where I was/am so emotionally burnt out, and in those moments I turn to blaming all these things happening in and around me. It became easier to point a finger at all these factors because I did not want to hold up the mirror to my face. But the more I ignored it, the further I strayed from my goal of intentionality and essentially being a catalyst in my own stagnancy. We are common denominators in everything we do and in all the interactions we open ourselves to.
Yes, other factors may influence our hand in situations but bottomline, it all comes down to you. The sooner we realize this and become cognizant of the role we play, the lighter the journey of intentionality becomes. The first step is switching the narrative of thinking you need to “fix” something about yourself or there is something “wrong” with you. A lot of people tend to run away from self-evaluation because they connote it as having something “wrong” with you, but in reality it's like a systems upgrade. Consider it an upgrade in your journey of settling into the you that you want to be.
So I say this to say what? Check yourself and do it often. Upgrade your systems. Look at your triggers and what causes them, be honest with yourself when you also see that you are being your own enemy of progress. Accept the harsh realities and use those as a driving passion to push yourself on this journey of intentionality. Be as real and as raw with yourself, the same way you’d be when expressing your discomfort to those around you. Don’t be your own enemy of progress but be the main catalyst in your happiness, sanity and peace of mind. The sooner you hold the mirror up to your face, the more beauty you will find in your reflection.
Love & Light,
Zuba.
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