No one is going to care for you more than you and no one is going to advocate for you, better than you can. Let that sink in for a moment. How often do you let things slide to keep the peace, and I don’t mean your peace of mind but the peace around you. Over the past few months, I have been in this heightened state of mind where I have become more cautious about how often I let things slide.
How often I feel that “letting things go” is the best way to keep the peace, but the more I did so, the more I realized that I was keeping the peace on the external side of things but internally, there was no real sense of peace.
Recently I found myself overthinking a lot of situations I have been placed in, and especially the relationships I have. In doing so, I felt the need to reassess my boundaries and within that came the realization of how I keep the external peace, without fighting for the internal peace. I became so good at prioritizing others’ feelings before my own and worrying more about how the other person will perceive the situation and their perception of me as well. See, telling someone to not worry about what people say is much easier said than done, so I had to shift my gaze from not worrying about what people say to looking at how well I reinforce my boundaries.
More times we worry about what people have to say because we are worrying more about what we cannot control instead of focusing on what we can control, which is us; our reactions, responses, and time spent thinking about situations. In the process of realigning my boundaries, I realized that I do not advocate for myself half as much as I do for others. This meant that I was quick to worry about the other person and that would send me down this rabbit hole of worrying about how I am affecting another person. I realized that whilst I was doing this, I was loosening my boundaries and that meant that the internal peace was at risk.
Once again I say, no one can advocate and care for you BETTER THAN YOU CAN! I wasn’t speaking out about what discomforted me, I wasn’t speaking out about what bothered me, all in the name of “keeping the peace”. But in reality, what good is keeping the peace if you have no peace of mind. Your mind is the one place you live 24/7, 365 days a year and if you are not at peace, then you’re keeping a messy home. So the question becomes, at what point do you give yourself the peace of mind you deserve? At what point do you keep YOUR peace over that of others?
So I say this to say what?
You are the common denominator in all things, what you allow is what you have to endure. Reassess your boundaries and look at how often you speak out for yourself. In the end, you have to make yourself and your peace of mind a priority.
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